IF YOU WANT ME

“If You Want Me” is a song I sang in the movie “Once”. It is also one of the first songs I had ever written. I played it to my friend Glen Hansard at the time, we were writing music for Once together, and he suggested I change the lyric : “If you love me, satisfy me” to “If you want me, satisfy me.” It might seem like a small adjustment but it meant a big shift in the overall meaning.

This song has grown with me throughout the years, perhaps one could even say I grew into it over time. It is one of the few songs I never leave out from a setlist. I love playing it, and I love that it has evolved over time and grown in strength, all the while maintaining its tenderness and vulnerability. It’s evolution and growth is what made me want to re-record this song in its more recent form, previously only heard live in concerts.

When I was younger I would think that the song had a certain Gypsy vibe, which felt exciting to me. The same one that influenced flamenco in Spain for example. I do not know what initially inspired it in my case but as time went on I felt inclined to go deeper into this aspect. Expanding the structure by adding an intro and an outro created the space to go a bit wild, unleashing an energy that quickly became the driving element of this version.

I further embraced this energy by singing the song in Spanish, a language that better allowed me to express the flamenco spirit known also as “duende”. The Spanish lyrics were written by my dear friend Sion Fullana, who has previously collaborated with me in the form of photography, video and now interpretation. They are almost a direct translation, except for moments where Sion found more elegant ways to express the same sentiments.

It is not often I pause to consider what the song is really about, or what it means to me on a personal level all these years later, but now that I am here, creating such a pause, I believe the song to be about the dance we are often engaged in with a lover, the push and pull, the intimate, intricate, intriguing but risky game that leaves the relationship in a precarious place, hanging in the balance at all times. The lack of security is made up for by the intoxicating sense of mystery, and the distance only enhances attraction, resulting in efforts to bridge the very gap that separates, time and time again.

I wanted that sense of a dance to be represented on a sonic level, and for it to evoke a place of palpable electricity. I feel that the flamenco guitar and the violin create that very friction as they weave in and around each other throughout the song. For this I relied on the skill of Eric Harper and Marja Gaynor. Manu Barreto and Peter Moc provided the much needed foundation to support the more wilder elements.

By the end of the recording, we had what felt like a bit of chaotic mess on our hands, a wild dance of interweaving and overlapping elements. It took Mio ( the producer and recording engineer ) many days of going through playlists, choosing takes, syncing and editing parts, mixing and remixing, until finally, the desired outcome was accomplished. But the journey is always proven well worth the effort by the satisfying feeling upon reaching a finishing line without any shortcuts taken and compromises made along the way.

On vocals I was joined by my sister Suzie Irglová and my friend Malinda Kathleen Reese, who played GIRL in the the Washington production of Once The Musical some years ago. It is one of my dreams to some day gather all of the women who have played GIRL in all the different productions of the musical and sing this song together. What an absolute thrill that would be!

For now I hope you enjoy this version, recorded in Masterkey Studios in Iceland, November 2022, masterfully recorded, mixed, and produced by Sturla Mio Thorisson. Mastered by Scott Hull, released on Masterkey Sounds.