All I could have, would have, should have told you,

All I never even thought to ask you,

Plays on my mind like a broken record,

And I can not bring myself to speak.

All that there was left for you to teach me,

All you’d try to make me understand,

Isn’t lost on me now that you have left me,

Proving nothing ever goes as planned.


Since you’ve been gone I have been frozen,

Unable to feel,

Your leaving stripped the world of meaning,

Tell me how do I go on,

When I see nothing but fog now,

All around me pillars of smoke rise,

Where our dreams burned to the ground,

There is no light to be found.

I’m swimming in a deep lake of memories,

I walk when I can’t sleep,

And all I do is think about you,

And wish that you were still here.


Tell me it’s all been a terrible dream.

The kind where you want to, but

Can not scream.

Tell me I’ll wake up and all will be as before,

I’ll be back in our hometown, and

You will walk through the door.

I never knew I had so much to lose,

Until I lost you…


And I wonder if you can forgive me,

For all the times I have done you wrong,

I’d give anything just to embrace you,

Among the living, where you belong.


Somebody tell me how to make peace,

With circumstance begotten of mistakes,

How to accept that there can be no second chances,

When your soul escapes for grief and your heart breaks.

Breaks into a thousand little pieces,

Shatters like a cup that used to keep,

Your memories, your dreams and your desires, and

Now all you want to do is go to sleep, and

Sleep until the living nightmare is over,

Sleep until the pain of it is no more.

Until the thought of facing the world doesn’t petrify you,

And you can pick yourself up off the floor.


Mother Mary, won’t you keep me steady,

For my mind is weary and heavy is my heart.

I’m still not sure if I can even do this,

Could you bring me right back to the start?

There is so much about the past that I’d like to change,

To take all of the pieces apart, to re-arrange,

The complex puzzle that is life,

Ever-changing with each choice one makes.

I was young, I was foolish, I was restless,

I made many mistakes.


Azrael, take good care of my baby,

Raphael, help ease the pain,

Gabriel, will you give my message to him?

Chamuel, let us know peace.

Jophiel, please illuminate this dark and lonely time,

Zadkiel, let compassion grace each step of this steep and rocky climb,

Jeremiel, mercy of God, will you be his guide?

Help my brother journey over to the other side?


Out of my reach and into your arms,

Profoundly calm and peaceful a place.

Life on earth can be so hard,

They are better off there in some ways.

And though I grieve now, though I cry,

This is not our last goodbye,

We will meet again I am sure.

Another time, another life,

Brother, sister, mother, wife

For love does even death endure.


May the love between us allow me to find you,

When we are reborn in another form.

I shall live the days,

I have left on this earth in honor of you.

May God bless and keep you.